Friday, October 18, 2013

Excerpt from Dymos book 2 chapter 1

Wow, it's been a while since I updated this blog. I've got some short stories in the works. However I was asked to share something I got feedback on from a writing club. I'll share this with you and if you could provide any feedback that would be appreciated. Originally this was going to be book 4. However I've been thinking and I've decided that it would probably be best to have the series go forward in chronological order. Some series were able to pull off jumping around the time stream of that world, but I will not try it. Now, see what has been going on since we last left our heroes:

The city of Raun Nijhor was bustling with excitement as everyone waited for the announcement of the wedding day of their beloved princess. It had been a year ago that her husband-to-be Josun had set out to find the sword Vedion to stop the Magic’s Bane, an order of knights from Earth who were dedicated to exterminating anything and everything magical in an attempt to create peace. The knights had been let in by the dark wizard Drakorn, who had wanted them to upset Dymos so much that it would destroy itself while he left to take over Earth. Luckily Josun and his friends arrived in time to stop his diabolical plot and save the world.
            From his quarters in the castle, Josun looked out at the eager city that was preparing to hear the announcement. Although Josun was a peasant and not a prince, he had asked the princess Saurina to marry him. She had accepted, but according to Bylouth tradition marriage between a noble and a peasant had to go through a trial. Josun had to prove that he could handle the affairs of the kingdom and wouldn’t abuse the power of the king when the current ruler passed away. It had been a difficult time for him to learn about the way hierarchy worked, but he managed to pass the test. Now they could announce the day of the marriage.
            “Nervous?” A voice asked behind him. Josun looked to see Saurina standing in the doorway. The princess had a royal green dress on with purple sleeves and a crystal tiara on. Her brownish-blonde hair billowed past her shoulders, giving her amber eyes a beautiful look.
            “Very much.” Josun admitted, “It’s just so tense to announce something to a large multitude of people in one place.”
            Saurina smiled. “My father felt the same way.” She told him, “He just kept taking breathes and made sure he knew what he was going to say to the crowd.”
            “I still think I’d rather be learning to read from Ipurv than speak to a multitude.”
            Saurina laughed. “My father felt the same way, only it was to go and face a rabid dragon instead of learning from a wizard.”
            Josun laughed with her. When they were together, it was hard to not be in a good mood. It was hard to think that a year ago he had been dreading a visit from his aunt and cousins. Now here he was, preparing to announce the day that he would wed Saurina.
            “Sir Josun! Princess Saurina!” A voice cried out from the hallway. Both of them poked their heads out to the door to see a page running up to them. “The king wants the two of you outside in the next few minutes to announce your wedding day!” The page said.
            Looking at each other in surprise at the sudden announcement of hurry, Josun and Saurina rushed past the page and rand down the hallway. Past the murals and portraits of heroes and kings they hurried, eager to not be late for this important announcement. They each ran down two stairs at a time, with Josun nearly tripping over himself. The halls continued to echo their footsteps as they hurried to the door.
            As they approached the immense doors, they saw Saurina’s mother, Queen Arias, waiting for them. She had on her royal purple gown and had her blonde hair braided in her usual fashion. However, today she had on a silver crown that Saurina knew she only wore to special occasions.
            “Where have you two been?” She asked as they approached. “The crowd’s been waiting patiently to hear you announce your big day.”
            “We know. We thought we didn’t need to be here for a little while.” Saurina explained while her mother looked eagerly outside.
            “It’s fine. You’re here and everyone’s there. Just go out there and tell them of the big day!” With that, Queen Arias shoved them outside. Immediately a cheer went up from the crowd as they saw that the people who they’ve been waiting for had finally arrived. The both of them waved nervously as they got to the stand where Saurina’s father, King Ifen, stood waiting for them. The king had on a blue and brown tunic with leather pants and his royal purple cape on. His golden crown sat in his brown hair.
            “Okay you two, you know what to do.” He said as he stepped off and allowed them to step up. Josun immediately became scared when he saw the vastness of the crowd. It was as if every citizen in Bylouth had come for the announcement of the special day. His stomach felt weak and his legs felt as if they would just give way.
            “Come on Josun, tell them.” Saurina whispered in his ear. Hearing her voice gave him confidence and repelled his weakness. Standing up, Josun cleared his throat and spoke loudly.
            “Good day everyone,” He began. “It has been a long year since I asked this beautiful princess to marry me. I have worked hard to prove I am worthy of her and now the time has come for when we can end the waiting of our wedding day announcement.” Clearing his throat one more time, he continued, “We have decided to be wed on the day when spring gives way to summer.”
            At this declaration, a loud cheer went up from the crowd. That day was only a few weeks away and that meant these two wouldn’t have to wait long before their lives were joined. That still gave them plenty of time to prepare for that day.

            When they were back inside, Josun breathed hard in relief that it was over. King Ifen had stepped up and continued to speak to the people of the importance of how summer would allow them to grow their crops before the winter season blew in. Josun knew the lessons well, and was just glad he didn’t have to speak to the crowd again.
            “I know how you feel.” Saurina comforted him, “I was just as nervous being up there in front of all those people.”
            “I can’t imagine anyone being comfortable with giving a speech to a multitude.” Josun said.
            “It would certainly take nerves of steel to do it.”
            “At least everyone knows when we’ll be married.”
            “No, not everyone.” Saurina remembered. “Our closest friends don’t know.”
            Josun nodded, remembering all the friends they made while they were traveling the land. The elf Ehist had returned to her home city of Fiaxiclaun to visit her family while Tnor the dwarf went back home to Mining Falls to continue making things. Belizth, their centauride friend, had gone off to be with her own centaur herd somewhere on Sodow, but they were always moving so Josun had no idea where they were. Their biggest companion, Goalith the dragon, had returned to his territory on the mainland of Bylouth. They had never found out where exactly it was.
            “So that’s when you two plan to finally stop waiting.” A familiar voice said. The two of them turned to see Ofni coming towards them. Ofni was a fire thief they had met in the Myriad Mountains. He couldn’t speak human languages at first, but the Dream Damsel bestowed upon him this ability because he had wanted to be able to understand humans.
            “And how have you been Ofni?” Josun asked their little friend.
            Ofni reached down to preen some of his fiery red and orange down before answering, “Just hunting. Those squirrels are really quick and hard to get. They also cheat, going up trees.”
            “Don’t worry, you’ll get there.” Saurina comforted. She was a husaur and had a special connection to all the animals of the land. Although she liked the squirrels, she preferred to not discourage Ofni from practicing his hunting skills.
            “My pack would not be as understanding as you two are.” Ofni replied. This was a new statement for Josun, for although he had heard that fire thieves hunted in packs, Ofni had never mentioned his pack before. They had tried to ask him about it, but neither of them had been able to get the information from him.
            “Well, we can hope that everyone else hears about it in time to get here to join us.” Saurina said. Josun smiled, knowing that would make Ofni happy.


  1. Good start, David. I am looking forward to reading your new book.

  2. Thanks Steve. I'll be posting the second part of Chapter 1 sometime soon.